Hyatt Residence Club Sedona, Piñon Pointe Timesharew

*First off, I should have done more research on this property prior to booking. I assumed “Hyatt” was synonymous with “hotel.” I was wrong.

Upon arriving at 2:30 p.m. from the airport, front desk clerk Matthew informed me that our room was not yet made up. While irritating, I understand there’s no guarantee that rooms will be ready before 4 p.m check in, and overall Matthew was extremely professional and informative. BUT I feel it’s pertinent to mention that he had no suggestions for what my girlfriends and I should do while we were waiting for our room to be ready. Instead, he recommend I talk to the concierge Darlene.

Here’s where the trip starts to nose dive. Darlene’s customer service was far less professional than Matthew’s, bordering on rude. In retrospect I see that her only goal was to sign me up for a timeshare presentation, but I didn’t realize that at the time. She first made the assumption that my husband was “parking the car,” and when I explained to her that I’m single and on a girl’s trip, she nearly demanded proof that I wasn’t married. She then needed to know my exact age, which I found insulting following the marriage interrogation, as I had no idea why this information was pertinent. Once I confirmed that I was single and 28, she informed me that I qualified to attend the timeshare presentation and receive a $100 visa card. This brought a smile to my face and explained the odd string of questions without preface, so I added my name to the list. Here is when she remembers she hadn’t verified that my income exceeded $65,000. She gives me a pen and paper to “do the math.” I tell her I make $55,000, which doesn’t cut it, so I’m taken off the list with a “maybe next time” apology. Rrrr.

SO I rejoin my girlfriends in the car out front and flag down a parking attendant for information on where to go while we wait for our room to be ready. This gentleman was far less customer-service oriented than Matthew and refused to give us directions until we pulled out the map from our welcome packet. Once we had our map in hand, he directed us to parking and the pool, where we spent the afternoon until we got the call that our room was ready. FYI this is a QUIET pool. Because no food or drink is available and no Hyatt restaurant is onsite, socializing does NOT occur. If you’re planning on conversing with family or friends, don’t come here. Thankfully, the panoramic views from the pool deck were spectacular enough to help us pass the time.

We arrive at our studio. Once again, if I’d done more research I would’ve seen that the square footage of the room was abysmal, but I assumed that a standard rate of $300/night would get you a spacious room. Once again, I was wrong. Putting aside the lack of a welcome package – or even water bottles – we attempt to get ready for our evening, but here we find out there are no robes in the room. Even motels have robes. FYI I’m the type who cringes at the thought of calling the front desk to complain, but my friend Katie has no qualms about this, so suffice it to say the call was made. After some confusion finding staff to meet this request, our robes arrived and we readied ourselves for the evening.

7 p.m. and we’re nearly ready to go. I’m slipping out of my robe and into my dress when I realize the bed is IN FULL VIEW of the guest walkway outside. I’ve never seen this type of layout before, but passersby are eye level with the studio bed, about 8 feet away. A woman happened to walk by while I was changing, and after overcoming her shock at seeing me naked, she pretended to smell the flowers on our balcony out of understandable embarrassment. I remember Matthew explaining that our room had limited to no view, but I didn’t realize this also meant that guests outside your room get a FULL VIEW. I spring to close the blackout drapes, finish changing, and go to grab our only flashlight (the property goes dark at 9 p.m.) But it’s out of batteries. Of course. We leave it and head out for our dinner reservation at Creekside.

6 a.m. The kids next door wake up and wreak havoc on our shared landing. This goes on until 8 a.m. when their dad wakes up and decides to join them OUTSIDE OUR DOOR. Katie calls the front desk complaining about our overall experience so far, and thankfully the manager Victoria completely empathized with our ordeal and moved us to a quiet one-bedroom that meets the Hyatt standard of luxury for no additional fee. THANK YOU VICTORIA!

Once in our new digs, we unpack and head out to see Sedona feeling renewed. We return to our new room before dinner and start to shower. But there’s no hot water. Naturally, Katie is about to call the front desk when we regain heat AND PRESSURE. I’m not sure what happened, but once the water fully heated, the pressure switched to dangerously strong. As adults running low on time, we made ourselves shower under these conditions, but there is no way a child could withstand the pressure. The most apt description I can give is that it felt like being pounded by burning hail. Thank God for the adjacent jacuzzi tub!

All showered and ready, we’re about the head out for the evening when we get a knock on our door warning us about the pack of wild pigs roaming the property. Thankfully, all parking spots are adjacent to their corresponding rooms, so we made a run for it (with TWO functioning flashlights) and drove away, dumbfounded. “Where are we?!” Katie kept repeating.

The next morning Victoria gives us a call to check in and make sure we’re doing better, and to inform us she’s gone ahead and comped all our fees. Once off the phone, Katie and I wonder what we possibly could have been charged for as this is a TIMESHARE property with no room service, pool service, restaurant, etc. So she calls back for info. Apparently there’s a $22/day fee for staying at the timeshare, but no one informed us about that. Thankfully Victoria thought ahead and took care of this for us, otherwise we’d both be UPSET.

We decide to pack up and leave early so we can put an end to this unfortunate series of events, when we realize our room – while equipped with a washer and dryer – has no laundry bags. We’ve been swimming, hiking, offroading etc. How are we supposed to separate our clothing? I vote that laundry bags be covered in the $22/day fee. And robes. And water. And some type of welcome package. The only thing keeping this timeshare property from getting a 1 star is Victoria. Give her a bonus, because she’s the only person who made our stay here bearable.